I'll take a mental break down... To go, please?

Ever have one of those days with your kids where you think to yourself.... "My children are trying to kill me and they are succeeding." It's almost like they sit in their rooms at night and think of as many things as they can that would get under my skin and strategically plan out their attack through out the day to inevitably find my last nerve. It all started with Clay, and just to mention this as a side note to keep in mind, it usually does. He thinks it's absolutely necessary to start out his day by torturing the little 4 pound poodle that he currently shares a home with. Whether it's putting her in the washing machine, the grill, at one point it was in the guinea pig cage. Pretty much any place else that he thinks she would like to see the inside of. No matter how many times he is punished and told to under no circumstances touch the dog, he still does it. It's like he weighs out the pro's and con's and realizes that it's going to be worth the laugh in the end. I can't say that I blame him... We did get a pretty good chuckle out of seeing her in that guinea pig cage. Her and the guinea pig were facing off in opposite corners, probably wondering when this family got their sudden interest in "cage fighting." It's really our lack of being able to hide that we are laughing at what's he's done that we can attribute Clay's inability to take us seriously. Can you blame us? Nap time is always a fun time around my house. I would love to tell you that the boys and I sit and read a book in bed and they quietly fade off to sleep somewhere around the fourth page.... Not going to happen. Aaron goes down pretty smoothly. Of course he doesn't have a choice because he is still in a crib. I see many, many struggles with him in my future... Clay hates a nap. He thinks it is the one time of day where all the coolest stuff is happening and he is always missing it. Today I had to go to extreme measures and put him in the laundry room by himself to settle him down. A little harsh, you might be thinking? Not so. Clay has the ability to go from ninety to nothing in no time flat and if he is still for to long, he will fall asleep. Containing him in a small area with no toys is his only chance at not getting distracted. I didn't intend for him to fall asleep in there, I just wanted him to calm down! He actually did fall asleep in the laundry room, in between the dryer and the hamper. Moving to around dinner time, we have just dropped off Matt at the dentist. Clay and Aaron immediately head for the toy chest. Clay proceeds to pour an entire toy size bottle of bubbles directly in his eye's. Why? I have no idea. So, we cut our visit short and head back to the house. I stop through the Wendy's drive-thru for some quick dinner, since Aaron has already been up for way to long and I know he isn't going to patiently wait for me to make something at home. We get some chicken nuggets and I am passing them back to him one at a time. He is eating them really fast because he keeps asking for more. "Whoa, he is hungry!" I thought. We get to the house and I take him out of his car seat.... only to find he has stuffed at least 3 chicken nuggets into his shoes. After removing half of a rooster from in between his toes and setting him down in the kitchen he starts bawling because NOW he is hungry. I think about my day and everything my kids have done and honestly, we've had worst days. In fact, just yesterday I got so fed up I literally threw in the towel (A blue hooded towel with Aarons initials on it, to be exact) and had to step away for a "moment" to myself. My children were sitting on the bathroom counter brushing their teeth at the time. Matt was right next to me, so if you're wondering if I left them up there unattended, the answer is no! From time to time I do loose my cool, I need to step away and have some time to refocus myself so that I don't completely loose it with my boys. And that's okay. I don't tell myself I'm a bad mother for needing that time. I tell myself it benefits everyone if I walk away and cool down when things get heated. They would not benefit at all from seeing me in that state. So, if you're concerned about always needing to feel in control and not allowing yourself time to blow off steam, it's probably because some flake told you that your child must always remain in a calm environment and things should never get out of control. Sorry to break the news to you, but that's near impossible. There are going to be days when you are going to loose it. Don't punish yourself for walking away from them for a minute to regroup. It's not the stress that will get to your children; it's the lack of not being able to deal with it that will hurt them the most. They need to know that life isn't always going to be calm and uneventful and that they sure aren't going to have someone around constantly trying to make things easier for them. You would do them a greater injustice by shielding them from real life, rather than teaching them to deal with it head on, without fear or punishment for failure. Just something to keep in mind. I'm headed to bed, so that I can get up tomorrow and do it all over again!