Did he REALLY just say that???

"What's wrong with your tummy?" Clay asked me today as we were taking a potty break while out for a little shopping adventure. This question took me a couple minutes to answer, because what I SHOULD tell him and what I WANTED to tell him were two very different things. After mentally spanking the tar out of him for even asking (not to mention the giggles coming from the girls waiting for the restroom), I quickly realized that yes, he is three years old and has absolutely no filter to determine whether or not this question should be asked or just filed under the "never mention" category of his brain. So I told him that mommy's tummy had to get really big to make sure him and his brother could get as big and healthy as possible before they came out to meet us. He immediately went about his business without even missing a beat. I of course, could not stop thinking about it. I couldn't stop thinking about it, because it reminded me of yet another instance when a brain filter would have come in handy for little Clay. I usually take my showers while both of the kids are down for a nap. Apparently when I turned on the shower this particular day it woke Clay up. So, imagine my surprise when I am eye's shut, in the shower rinsing shampoo out of my hair and I hear the curtain being ripped back. "Hi Mommy" Clay say's, huge smile on his face. "I wake up!" Ugh.... the one time of day where it can be even the least bit relaxing and now I have a three year old watching me take a shower. "You have floaties like Gigi!" (Gigi is his grandmother, who he has also walked in on in the shower.) "Yep, I sure do." I said. He looked up at the ceiling with a sideways grin and I could tell his little wheels were turning. "Mommy? I think Gigi's are better!" After picking my mouth up off the floor, I asked him what he meant. "Gigi's floaties are better than yours!" In a complete state of shock I went back at him... "Son, that's because Gigi paid for hers!" And I ripped the curtain back and continued my shower. He had absolutely no idea what I meant and to this day he probably thinks Gigi got her "floaties" at Wal-Mart. It's amazing to me that kids can be so honest with us about what they are thinking or feeling. How would the world be if we never learned how to "filter" the things that we think before we actually speak them out loud? Would it be better, or worst? I have a feeling it would be both. But then I think about when I was a teenager and sometimes never feeling like I could tell my parents what I thought or how I felt about something, for fear of the outcome. So how do you teach your kids to still be honest with you about what they are feeling or thinking and to always come to you with ANY question that they have? I think us parents walk a very fine line on this one. I think it all comes down to the bond you create with them when they are young. Clay and Aaron are 3 and 1 and even now I can see that Clay's strong bond is with his Dad, he will go to him with any question he has when he is older, without question. I want to say Aaron's is with me, but that could change. The point is, no matter what my children ask me in the future, I have to remember that my REACTION to the question is what's going to dictate whether or not they approach me again, not so much my answer. Our kids want to be reassured that no matter how crazy the question may seem or how strange their feelings might be to them at the time, that they have someone that is not going to judge them or react to them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. Don't make your kids sorry they asked you, or regret coming to you with their feelings. I would rather my boys come to me or their Dad with the most absurd thing in the world, before they would go to anyone else. How we react to them now, when they are completely honest with us and no filters, will determine how much they come to us later, when the big questions come up and they have learned to sift through their thoughts before bringing them to us. If this is something you think you need to work on and are now worried about all your reactions in the past about what your kids have said or asked, don't. Children are thankfully, a lot more forgiving than adults. They focus strictly on the here and now, and work with what’s put in front of them rather than worrying about what they have left behind. God’s mercy is shown most abundantly through the hearts of our children. I hope everyone has a great weekend! The boys and I are headed to Sunsplash on Sunday, so pray our conversation with Clay on where he CAN and CAN'T go potty goes well! :)