The Tuff Lessons (For Parents Only)

Today has been a life altering day. Ever have one of those? They are the kind of days that make you re-examine your life and everything in it, to which you usually conclude the only thing that needs to change is you. This Blog is dedicated to the funny things my kids do from day to day. The things that Matt and I reflect on at night, when we realize what drove us crazy earlier, we can laugh at now. This particular day and the incidents that occurred are not something Matt and I will reflect on later and laugh. We will remember this as the day that changed our parenting lives forever. If you know me or my family at all, you know my mom (Clay's Gigi) has a best friend named Shelby. She is a tiny white poodle that follows her everywhere she goes and Clay loves to torment her. We laughed about the time he stuck her in the washer, or the time my Dad found her in the bottom of the grill, because she was unharmed in all previous occasions. What we didn't realize is that even though Clay was punished in those instances, our inability to see past a silly boy doing something funny has crippled Clay's ability to connect it with something he should not be doing. Today he went to the extreme and ended up throwing Shelby off of the second story banister down to the bamboo wood flooring below. Luckily he was aiming toward the couch, which broke her fall therefore slowing her down significantly before landing on the ground. I went around the corner to see what he was up too and found Shelby lying on the floor unable to get up with blood running out of her mouth. I immediately called for my dad, half hysterical and he rushed her to the Vet. By the time he got there she was up and feeling surprisingly fine. She is sore and tired, but essentially unharmed. I had called Matt soon after we had found her and was in a state of panic. The first thing I thought was, how could he do this? How was he able to go through with something without even comprehending the consequences that would occur shortly after? How could he hurt an animal to that extend? What was he thinking? Then my thinking gets completely irrational and I am reminded of a show I watched years ago about serial killers and how they were when they were younger.... Could mine be next??? The answer to that is absolutely not. The thing I reminded myself of, is that God is inevitably in control. I have prayed over my children’s lives since before they were born and they are protected by the ultimate Father who has promised to fight for their souls and hearts with everything He is. However, He has given Matt and I the responsibility of exposing their minds to the right things, setting them on the path He has laid out and ultimately leading to them living the life He has intended. So as this is all going on I am praying that God show me what I need to do to turn this situation around. Lord, tell me how this could have happened? Boy, did He. You know what He laid on my heart? Turn off the TV, get off your butt and train up these children in the glory of God. Do a better job. Ouch. As much as it hurt, I knew it was true. By no means was He telling me I was a bad mother. He was telling me I was a bad teacher. My job is not only caring for these boys and their basic needs. It is to stimulate their minds with the right activities and keep them active so that there is not an over abundance of energy that is being put towards things with no value. My boys are smart, very smart. Sometimes I would swear if I gave Clay a blue print and a tool bag he would be fully capable of building whatever it was on that paper. Aaron is the exact same way. Now just so we are clear, my children don't watch an abundance of TV and just sit on the couch all day. And I am not blaming Sponge Bob for what my son did earlier. I am blaming me. But it is with full confidence that I will tell you that Clay learned what he did, from what I allowed him to watch. It has been a huge lesson for Matt and I to really, really be careful to what our children are being exposed to. We have both made a packed to hold each other accountable in being more aware of what our kids are doing and what they are seeing (AND HEARING!). As well as doing a better job with keeping them stimulated with the right things. Another lesson I have learned is no matter how funny the things are that Clay or Aaron may be doing, does not excuse them from being punished or give me the right to write it off as unimportant because it made me laugh. I am the adult, I am the parent and because I love them, I am going to ensure the best life possible by being the best mom possible. If that means not allowing them some of the things that other kids might have or be able to do or watch, then so be it. And parents listen, because this is important.... Don't ever let the fear of feeling like a failure; keep you from seeing the truth about the things you need to improve. This was extremely hard for me to write today. It all just happening hours ago and it still being fresh, it's been a scary thing for me to write it down. But you know what? It's turned it into a written declaration for me to look back on and think.... Okay, I said what I was going to change and improve on; now this is going to hold me accountable, because I have exposed my fault to everyone that will read this. I hope this helps someone else as well! Good night!